Friday, April 18, 2014

Vacation?! Yes Please...

I'm going to Williamsburg!  Tomorrow marks day one of the first real vacation we've taken in several years.  I say real, only because most of our traveling happens when we move from one base to the next.  I also don't count visiting family in a less than exciting destination to be a vacation either, but maybe I'm being too picky.  Coincidentally, the 22nd is Earth Day, and our 8 year anniversary!  Both us of are way overdue for a little recreation and mindless indulgence, given the shit storm that this past year has been.

Yesterday, I was inconveniently put on activity restriction, due to soft tissue damage and a possible occult fracture in my foot.  The lesson here is two-fold. 1) Don't wait two months (and two days before vacation) to have something looked at, and 2) A person can't expect to gain a considerable amount of weight in a relatively short period of time and still manage to jump right back into running.  I was overzealous, and months of inactivity had left my mind leaning into the crazy-side.  I plan to bend the rules just a little bit, and go by feel.  When my foot starts screaming defeat, I'll give a little rest, ice, and repeat the process.  I'm a terrible patient, and terribly impatient.  I was threatened with crutches, but promised to behave myself as much as I'm capable of.  I JUST WANT 7 GOOD DAYS.  Sometimes I feel like a brain in a jar.  My mind is overactive and doesn't realize that my body is struggling.

As I'm getting stuff together for the trip, I generally take stock of the perishables and try to eat or freeze what won't be coming with us and what won't be good by the time we get back.  Fortunately for me, I should be able to pack most of it away in my belly today, minus two pounds of tofu.  I loves me some tofu, but it turns me into a gaseous wonder, which is less than ideal for being a roadtrip partner.  Aren't I considerate?

Lunch looked a little somethin' like this...

Slaw, Tabasco Soy Curls, The last lonely avocado, and Nacho Mom's Ultimate Vegan Queso (this stuff is great, review soon to come!)
I also get together what I like to call "my traveling pantry", with things such as snacks, nut butters, breakfast stuff, ready-to-eat soups, protein powder, and COFFEE.  This way, I won't go hungry, or go into java withdrawal, even if I can't find something suitable while out and about.  Some will say it makes me seem snobby, I call it being safe.  I do hope to eat out on the economy as much as possible.

Food, food, food, all of the time.  Sometimes I feel like the world's scrawniest fat kid...

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Eating Dirt - Popcorners Sweet Cinnamon popped whole grain chip review

Over the past few months, I have become somewhat of a connoisseur of snack foods.  They're calorie dense, but not filling, which is exactly what I needed.  I fell completely in love with Kettle Corn Popcorners  (made it through a case in less than a month), and took note that a new variety is out made with sorghum rather than corn.  I was positive they'd be awesome based on my obsession with the original Popcorners.  You, being the remarkably intelligent reader you are, have probably garnered from the title of this post that I was wrong.

Before I go into full-on critic mode, allow me to highlight some of the positives of this product.  They're gluten free, gmo free, and all natural.  Each one ounce serving has 130 calories (5 grams of fat), 1 gram of dietary fiber, and 3 grams of protein.  Not too bad for "junk" food.

Now for the bad.  I opened the bag and took a whiff.  They smelled grainy, and not very cinnamony.  The chips themselves look like tiny rice cakes, or soy crisps if you're familiar with those.  The first bite was a supreme disappointment.  The chip was crunchy, but seemed a bit soggy at the same time, almost as if it was stale.  The flavor left a lot to be desired.  I detected very little spice or sweetness, but was instead overwhelmed by the earthy flavor of the sorghum.  That's putting it reality, it tasted like dirt.  I tried one more and couldn't justify eating any more and had to chug a glass of water (or was it vodka?) to get the taste out of my mouth.

I threw the rest of the bag away.  When the husband came into the kitchen and saw them in the trash, he queried what was up with all of the Popcorners in the trash?  I told him they taste like worm casings.  I'll let you figure out how I know what worm casings taste like ;).  He retrieved a bag and decided to try them for himself.  He made it through three chips, and said "Ah ha! You're right...".  He ate another one and likened the flavor to combine dust, aka silage.  Yes, he's a farm boy.

I may have gotten a stale batch, even though the use by date is printed as December of 2014.  Perhaps the other available flavors are better suited for this type of grain.  My advice, don't be an idiot like me and buy them in bulk.  Sample them first.

Sunday, March 30, 2014


I apologize for retreating into my hidey hole.  I swear I have a legitimate excuse, besides being lazy.

Items #1 and #2 on my 2014 to-do list are going remarkably well, despite some major complaints from various bits and pieces of my digestive tract.  After nearly three months of forcing myself to eat everything in sight - whether or not it could be tolerated (and with a nifty little drug called zofran), I am beginning to look like a normal human being again.  I've still got a long road ahead of me, as this process has put me at odds with anything edible, which makes blogging about food completely out of the question.  As they say; no pain, no gain.  This couldn't be more true!  I have to remind myself several times a day that food is NOT the enemy.  Avoiding it means malnourishment, which also means delayed healing.  This bitch needs fuel to function.  My current favorite meal is butternut squash soup with an ungodly dose of coconut oil.   I've also been putting avocado in/on everything. I know I'm a little late to the 'cado party, but I seriously couldn't stand the way they taste.  Apparently being sick has rewired my brain and has given me a much more positive opinion of the fruit.  I'm officially addicted.  Since I'm "out of the woods", I'm beginning to settle back into the diet that had me feeling fantastic two years ago, only this time around I'm focusing on consuming enough healthy fats, rather than being hyper-vigilant about protein content.  Yes, protein is important, but getting enough of it has never really been an issue for me.

Crohn's has taken the back seat, and I hope it stays there with its mouth shut for a LONG time.  Unfortunately, more of my systems have gone haywire.  My thyroid has been all willy-nilly for a while, consistently coming back low for TSH, which points to hyperthyroidism.  It's low enough now that I'm being referred to an endocrinologist.  The second, and more alarming problem, is seeing my renal function plummet from mildly decreased to severely decreased.  Being in renal failure may require some dietary adjustments, such as reducing my sodium intake (which contradicts what the cardiologist told me to do for bradycardia/hypotension), and limiting food containing phosphorus, such as soy and peanuts.  Wait, peanuts?!  I cry.

I know you're dying to know - has my vocabulary expanded to include more than four letter words?  Fuck no.  It hasn't.  I continue to make sailors proud.

Monday, January 6, 2014

So long 2013, Don't Let the Doorknob Hit Ya Where The Good Lord Split Ya.

2013 was an interesting year for me.  From seeing my relationship nearly dissolve, to being diagnosed with a chronic disease, there are a lot of things I wish hadn't come to pass.  The positive was discovering my mental and physical fortitude, and my ability to remain hopeful when all hope seemed lost.  I never knew my drive to simply be was so strong until I got a major jolt from the universe.  The one goal I had set for myself (call it a resolution, if you want), was to find "my happy".  I wasn't even sure what that meant a year ago, but I do now and believe that I have found it.  In giving up control over things I actually have no control over, I've found a sense of peace.  I do the best I can, with what I've got.  Rather than obsessing about the future and stressing out over one giant goal that seems impossibly difficult to reach, I appreciate today for what it is.  I'm here, and I'll be okay.  I haven't made any resolutions for this year, because it's just not my style ;)

Instead, I've made a 2014 to-do list.

#1. Remission
#2. Gain a little junk for my trunk
#3. Wash my mouth out with soap - my lexicon isn't family friendly.
#4. Blog more
#5. Sell the house
#6. Laugh more
#7. Show more gratitude
#9. Spend more time with family
#10. Puppy?!

Both of these boxer/lab mix pups are at the humane society available for adoption.  Their faces have killed me with cuteness about 50 times already.  Must.  Resist.